the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
try to milk me bitch
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