only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
