He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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