I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
3 2 1 whiskey
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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