i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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