About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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