I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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