Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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