just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize