Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize