If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
