absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
