I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Boobs speak an international language.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
