p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
