I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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