Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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