so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize