btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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