so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize