Don't you send me to vm
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
