im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
