so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
