you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
