Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
