forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
