i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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