I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
