I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
