I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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