just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
