need another drink. this is the easiest way
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
