dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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