yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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