I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
