Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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