It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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