Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
