My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
