i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
