did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
