I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.