It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
