I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
how drunk are you?
Several
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize