I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
