I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
