He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
