Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
