spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we made out on top of his cat.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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