my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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