I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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