he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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