He asked me if I "almost moaned"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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