I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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