first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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