hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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