Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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