I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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