AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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